Friday, January 25, 2013

The Bad Egg

[Fiction Friday Challenge #02 - 1st Draft]
Invent a / your character (who) has two personality traits that are completely incompatible, that don't fit together at all. For example: this character is incredibly messy and is also a total perfectionist. Or: this character is a pacifist and also has a really explosive temper. Or: this character believes in strict, traditional family values but is promiscuous by nature. You decide. Then think of a situation in which these two sides of your character would be in direct conflict with each other. Write the story / scene.

“Men? Any questions?”

A delicate cough interrupted the silence.

He sighed.

“Ladies….and men! Any questions? Alright, you have your instructions!”

Suddenly, the Captain slammed his papers onto the table and reached up to rake his hair with his hook in frustration. “Folks, I cannot emphasize how important this is. He is one of our men and we don’t leave one of us behind!” 

Chairs scraped as each body made to leave the briefing room, realizing that the Captain was right. They filed out solemnly, each giving the Captain a silent promise; they were not going to leave him behind, and headed to the weapons room.

Each went straight to collect their weapons of choice: Knives, guns, bows and arrows, swords, sliver, holy water and magic wands, and began strapping them to their black uniform.

One of them, Peter, was looking grim. They had been looking for the perpetrator for 6 months. If the sources were correct, they were going to be able to get that son of a bitch tonight!

They had too! Peter thought vehemently. Too many children have gone missing! The world outside will begin to notice.

“Hey Pan! Let’s go!” Peter turned. It was Tiger Lily, his second in command. Behind her, his team, The Lost Boys - specially trained in warfare techniques and armed combat! They were deadly, and they were ready.  But some…one was missing. “Where is she?”

“Tink? She said she will meet us there.”

Grabbing his duffle bag, he followed Tiger Lily out. Smiling a little when one of the dwarfs whistled and the other chimed in mockingly, “…while you work” – which elicited laughter all around. The mood lightened considerably.

Peter Pan began whistling himself and headed straight to the door to the parking lot, passing a huge insignia on the wall, which read, “Protection and Investigation of Magical Persons Bureau”, otherwise referred to by the general populace as P.I.M.P. - the 'B' was silent.


The alarm went off. A voice groaned and reached over to slam it off.

“Stupid alarm.”

Bleary eyes peered to look at the time. 7pm.

Almost dark. Al thought. Scratching his balls, he yawned and stretched. He groaned. He gingerly  held the side of his face. It was swollen and throbbing. He grimaced. The pain in his tooth had gotten worst! Shaking his head, hoping to clear the pain, he slumped out of bed and shuffled to take a piss by the side table near the bed.  Leaning over to his left with his other free hand, he grabbed the bottle of whiskey, and gulp it down. Looking down, he impatiently said, “Now pee dammit!” Rolling his eyes upwards and grunted with relief as hot liquid spurted out finally.

Finishing the last of the whiskey, he belched and threw the empty bottle behind the sofa. His stomach growled. He was hungry. Suddenly, with a harsh intake of breath, his hands began to shake as sharp stabs rolled up on his sides, forcing him to bend over from the pain.

Al began salivating and making painful, mewling sounds. He needed FOOD! There was left overs from last night’s feast, Chinese!

Stumbling past the soiled, unmade bed and a green shag carpet strewn with rotten garbage and empty liquor bottles, he headed in to the mini fridge in the side alcove of the motel room. Holding on to the side wooden cabinet with glass sidings, he steadied himself and flung opened the fridge door! Dirty, clawed paws, desperately shoving the contents within into his open maw; he couldn’t swallow fast enough. He slid to his knees and began to gorge like the gluttony of a drug addict.

Through sickly, yellow light cast by the fridge, Al saw his reflection against the glass sidings. He was gnawing on a bone. He stopped to stare. His fur was matted, thick with dirt and dried blood. His eyes were bloodshot red. His whiskers were droopy and lank, while his mouth was bloodied with bits of flesh. The side of his face was swollen from the bad tooth. Moving his eyes up, he saw his ears, they were flopped over, no longer majestic and proud.

So, in a seedy, dark motel room by Jarvis Street, over the sounds of chewing, slurping and bone crunching, Al, the Easter Bunny, finished the last remains of a Chinese little boy he kidnapped last night.

How could you?

Startled, Al dropped the bone and scrambled closer to peer at his reflection!

How could you?

The soft voice asked again.

You were supposed to be the champion of children around the world! Giving out chocolates eggs and candy treats. Now, you eat them!

The voice said sadly.

“Who are you?” Al growled.

His paw rose to gently trace his reflection.

I am you. Before the pain from the tooth took you over and changed you. Please stop and go Home. They can help you! This pain you have? The need to eat children? It's the pain making you crave the sweet flesh of children. It is their innocence you are craving. Innocence - it is what you are missing! You need to go home and have that tooth removed! Go Home! They can help you! Will you stop and go Home?

Pleaded the voice.

“Home?” Al said. It was hazy but he remembered a little of a place called Home. Filled with rainbows, butterflies and happiness. Filled with flowers, sunshine and laughter. Filled with rules and regulations and forced visits to the dentist! The dentist! Shuddered Al.

No! He won’t go back! Grabbing the bone off the floor, he smashed hard against the glass sidings to break it. Grunting, he stood up. He was hungry again and needed to get more food. Careful not to look at the broken glass, he walked by and began hopping out of the motel room to search for his next meal.


“Peter! He’s on the move, headed south on Yonge Street.” Crackled voice suddenly came on through his earpiece. Adjusting it, Peter whispered some last instructions and signaled the rest of the team to get ready. Peter looked worried.

Tiger Lily grabbed his hand to reassure him, “He will see the signs and follow. Belinda is a good witch and her spells will work! He is after all a magical person! Maybe a little furry!” The attempted joke made Peter smile. Tiger Lily was right. Those casted spells were powerful and will lure Al to here!

“Peter! He saw the signs! He is following them. ETA in 5 minutes!”

Gesturing signals to his team, Peter turned and hurried up the steps to get into boy’s bedroom. He quickly and quietly slid between the blankets of the bed and forced his breathing to slow down. He didn’t want Al to get a whiff of him. He hoped the smell of the boy on the blankets would mask and hide him from Al’s detection. The boy and his parents were safely tucked in the attic. Belinda spelt them to sleep. Two of his dwarves were guarding them. Peter hoped the reports were right and that Al would break into the house through the basement, not the attic.

Hearing heavy footsteps coming up the stairs, Peter feigned sleep.


Al rubbed his snotty nose with the back of his furry, ragged arm and walked into the boy’s room. The boy smelt so good. So sweet.

Shutting the door quietly behind him, he peered around. Toys on the floor, with half made forts and colored drawings stuck to the walls. Al’s eyes saw family photos. Ah. The boy’s name is Billy. Turning back to the sleeping form on the bed, Al drew in another deep breath. Hmmmmmm, Billy smelt sweet!

Closer now, Al whispered gently, “Oooooh Billy….Billy. Its me, the Easter Bunny…and boy do I have a surprise for you!” Preparing to pounce, Al laid his knee on the bed.

Suddenly, Peter flung out the blankets over Al and jumped up! Al, falling back onto the floor, surprised! Growling to get up, Al yowled when strong hands held him back. Looking behind him, he saw Jack and The Giant holding him, and to the sides, a few of the lost boys holding a bow and aiming an arrow at him.

Snarling, Al turned back to the figure before him, “Peter Pan!”

“Aloysius Greenhill. We have been searching you for a long time.” Peter knelt and smiled coldly, “You have been a bad bunny.”

Shaking his head, Peter paused and stared, "Al, we've been friends for a while now...the pain must have been that bad because this isn't the real you. If you had just gone to the doc for your checkups, she would have found that bad tooth and taken it out! Can't you see? You have changed! The toothache has driven you mad and making you crave the flesh of children! Will you come Home, willingly submit to the dentist?"

“I’m the fucking Easter Bunny, I am cute. I can do no wrong!” Growled Al.

Crinkling his nose over the stench, Peter sighed and stood up. Ignoring Al, he continued, “Alright Al. You have given me no choice. By the doctrines established over this land, section 3A, paragraph 2, I hereby proclaimed that laws have been broken and thereby giving me, Peter Pan, rights over one,” peering down at Al, “Aloysius Greenhill, all in presence say ‘aye’!”

A chorus of ‘ayes’ and one grumpy ‘nay’.

“What you gonna do Pan?” sneered Al. “You have no magical powers to make me to do anything, and that bitch Belinda? She ain’t got the juice to even get me off!” He laughed out loud, suggestively.

Peter smiled, this time, warmly, “Oh Belinda and I won’t. But someone else will!” Peter whistled and out flew Tinker Bell!

“Ha! What’s that LITTLE fairy gonna do?” Al eyed Tinker Bell suspiciously.

“She’s not just any fairy, Al." Peter smiled evilly. "She also moonlights as the Tooth Fairy!"

Laughing at Al's shocked face, Peter stood back, "And tonight, we are going to do a little extraction. Tink's going to remove your SWEET TOOTH!” Turning to his men, Peter said, “Hold him down boys!”

Moving closer, Tink grinned, “Open wide silly rabbit!”

A pure look of terror shone out red, rabbit eyes, Al began to scream.

--The End--


  1. this was CRAZY! i like all the twisting and turning. the title, so fun and all the mythical lore, the fairy tale and epic fantasy fiction references... very interesting how you managed to get them to conspire against this poor sick bunny. i couldn't help but think of poor Lillian today at the dentist with her wisdom teeth too! it was like the underworld of children's fiction. fun!

    1. thanks :) hopefully when I start writing for kids, I shan't scarred them too much hahah

  2. I knew there was a reason we connected. Your work reminds me of another favorite author, Neil Gaiman. He takes traditional mythology and reworks it for a modern edge. Have you read American Gods? G

    1. Thanks Gabrielle, hope to meet you one fine day at the Butterfly place :)- and no but I feel I should now! Hahaha but boy was it fun to write this piece!

  3. Holy cow. So dark and twisted. I love it.

    1. thx I was trying to actually write less - I was kinda worried as it involved 'kids' and I wanted to be respectful of that

  4. Genius! Exquisite, magical and dark! More more more!!

  5. Tina: The poor Chinese boy! No seriously, I was captivated from the start. The pacing of this story was totally different from your last piece. How you brilliantly wove these mythical, fairytale creatures into a gripping and entertaining sci-fi story. I can tell you are just warming up...

    1. thank you - I wanted to try a little different dark story and wanted to add a little dark humor - not sure if I got it just right...but will keep at it.

  6. WoW! So unique! You are really great at this dark and twisty stories!

    1. oh man thank you so much - I guess its my thang? lol but it would be cool to write one day, a really good story which includes the wonderful things we dont get to see in the world...magics, miracles, whatever makes the world go round.

  7. I don't know if you watch "Once Upon a Time," but I LOVE taking old stories and putting new twists on them. This is so fun. It seems like it could be the beginnings of a book. It feels young adult fiction-ish.

    1. I did catch an episode of it. And thank you i had such a blast watching the story unfold in my head, in fact the 'tooth fairy moonlight' idea came while having a shower and I saw Tink in my head...and I say HEY the Tooth Fairy, was a fairty too! hahah

  8. Rabbit eyes...I won't be able to sleep tonight!